Hi Katie! I love how personal and fun this storybook sounds with a traveler's perspective who may be experiencing these stories I am assuming for the first time. I love the depiction of your own personal images from your trip to Germany. The emphasis on scenery is a very unique and exciting idea.
I understand that this storybook will describe the scenery from the traveler's perspective and will be set closer to the Medieval Ages which is a very interesting time period. I wonder what exactly these folkstore stories will entail. I wonder if I could get more information about what stories are occurring around the rivers of the Rhineland. I am not familiar with the well-known The Lorelei. I think it could be cool to expand a little bit to hear what these stories are about.
Overall, great story and what a great idea! I look forward to reading your stories.
Hey Katie! This storybook idea seems really cool. Implementing all your stories within an overall journey is really interesting. I do not know if I have ever heard any of the Rhineland tales so I'm interested in learning about them! I would keep in mind that some people may not be familiar with them, so keeping a good well-explained author's note with them will probably be important. I can't have wine but I'll keep some chocolate milk around, hopefully that's a good substitute. I wonder how you're going to decide to tell them. Are they going to be real events happening in your world? Or is the traveler going to experience them being told by the people they meet? It could be cool if they just happened to stay somewhere for the night and someone was around telling stories. Maybe they'll come across something later on that reminds them of a story they heard before.
Hi, Katie! First off -- I feel the images you selected really set the scene for the stories you're going to tell. That castle is gorgeous! And the buildings in the region are so charming. Are you going to take inspiration from your trip to Germany when you build your settings? I've never heard of "The Lorelei" or "The Mouse Tower" so I'm excited to be introduced to new stories. When you say that it will be from the point of view of a traveler on the Rhine river, does that mean he'll be from the present telling about the past? Or will he also be living during medieval times? Can't wait to read your stories!
I really, really love the aesthetic of your page. I know that is probably something you've heard already, and it is seemingly a really basic comment, but I mean it! The way all of the styles you included work together really makes it fantastic. This includes the font choice, picture choice, and background color of your page. I felt like I took a less detailed approach by just adding a picture to a white background for my own site, but now I feel motivated to add a lot more thought into it by connecting different styles to create one really amazing one like yours! I think your introduction really hit it off by describing what your site will be all about. And, again, the way you formatted it with the image you chose really made it feel homey. That may come off as weird, but what I mean to say is that it feels comforting just reading the words on your site, just based on the way the site is set up. I cannot wait to see how you are going to include your stories in the future! Great job.
I really enjoyed reading your story "The Boy in the Castle" and how it was a rendition of another story! I loved how you styled and structured the text on your website! It was very visually appealing! I also loved how you incorporated so much dialogue between the characters! This really enhanced the story and added an elevated element. I am curious though of what the boy is like? What are his characteristics and what does he look like? I would suggest adding some details into the story to build up the plot and ease into the storytelling! I think at the moment your story is very bare bones and is very short in length, so I think it gives you a great opportunity to add in more details, copy, and images to make your story more interesting! I also challenge you to try and take your own twist on the story whether that be changing up some of the challenges the boy has to go through or his ultimate goal. Overall, great job!
Hi Katie! I really love the look of your page! The pictures are so awesome. I think its super cool that you took them yourself. They really get me interested in what your story is going to be about. They are also beautiful and make me want to visit there. I think it is also very cool that you are going off some of the experiences from your trip because I think this will really bring in some personal aspects to your story. In your first story I really loves the scene and timing it brings in. It makes me think back to medieval times which I really like. I also really enjoyed your story in general. It makes me interested in what is going to happen in future stories and what is going on with this town and the hauntings in the castle. I am also curious to find out who this young boy is.
Hey Katie! I really enjoyed reading your story, “The Boy in the Castle”. I really like your style of writing in this story. I enjoyed how much suspense is in your story. It makes you want to continue to read more of the story to find out what happens next. I think if you added more descriptive words to the story, about the castle, Jonah, the bodies, etc. would help add a lot of imagery to the story. Also, that is so neat that you took the pictures that are in your storybook! I thought you did a good job developing a relationship between Hans and Jonah in the part when the body springs up and Hans saves Jonah. I thought that your story flowed very well and was very well written. Also, that’s so neat that the pictures on the front page of your storybook were taken by you! Great Job!
Hi Katie, I would say that I like to read your story. For me, I have never seen a story like that before - the met of a man and a boy in a scary castle. The theme of the story blends tightly with your writing. I had read several storybooks which cannot connect their topic and content perfectly, however, you do not have to face this problem! You put an image into your website which could help each reader to imagine some scenes and pictures in their minds. I think it is crucial for us to decorate the website. Besides, your picture layout is very reasonable and comfortable for me, all these factors improve the readability of the website. On the other hand, I think you could try to connect the plot with reality. For example, the king's absurd request could be related to some people's ridiculous minds in the upper-class. In my opinion, this kind of connection would endow the story with more connotation.
Hi Katie, right away I LOVE the images you've used. I want to travel to Europe so badly. There is so much folklore that comes from these different regions that I'm not surprised when I haven't heard one. Though I hadn't heard the story of the boy who couldn't shudder, I wish you had left in the part about the daughter getting him to, that sounds hilarious. I'm totally fine when people remove morbid or unnecessary parts though. I liked the point of view that you set the story up from! One thing I noticed at the start though is that the label says Story 1 but you have a title for the story. It doesn't hurt anything but if I had to find something, that would be a change I would make. The only other thing that is a little different to me is how large the pictures are compared to some of the paragraphs, only because there is a lot of white space around the paragraphs and they seem extra short because of how large the images are. However, I also love how big the pictures are because there is so much beauty in them.
I have absolutely loved looking through your storybook! I really like that it is so personal to you and that you were able to include your own photos. It is making me a little jealous, I would love to travel to Europe someday! I really liked reading your introduction because it was very thorough and explained everything I needed to know about your project. As of right now, your first story is just labeled as "Story 1," and I think that adding a title could really bring your project to the top. I loved reading what you wrote and I really enjoy your writing style. Great job overall!
Katie, Ive loved your images across the board. Really creative and interesting. I think you might benefit more on some of your stories from using a first person point of view and using more active verbiage instead of passive verbiage. It made a huge difference for me and I think it could do the same for you! But overall your doing great so far, keep up the good work!
Hello, I enjoyed your tale adaption. First off, I love the design of your project website. It's joy-inducing and feels as though I'm on a traveling site, which is a great thing. I think was a great decision to tell the story from Hans's point of view. Yes, I agree with you giving a proper point of view allows the readers to make a deeper connection to at least one character. However, if I may make one suggestion? It's best to not start off with the point of view character addressing the audience unless it is a diary entry. It takes many readers out of the story. Now, this is a style, which if you would like to continue, is totally fine. I loved the addition of dialogue as it speeds up the story and gives characters another way to interact. I really can't wait to see what you write, and I hope this helps.
Hi Katie, I really enjoyed reading your adaptation on the boy who learned fear and how your character was a audience member of the boy who feared nothing. I like that it ended with the boy receiving the hand in marriage because of some arbitrary task. Like you don't get scared his is my daughter. I am glad that is moving away from just giving away girls like they are a piece of property. This was an enjoyable story and I enjoyed reading about all the way that they tried and failed to scare the boy. The dead cousin one was the one that I didn't expect and it was described well and very easy to visualize. I like that the first instinct was to try to save the life and then they were like close the coffin close the coffin we can't let him out. I really enjoyed your story and your website looks really pretty I like that you use your own pictures.
Hi Katie! I was excited to learn more about a new culture after I stumbled across your project and realized what it contained. I love the two images that you have on your home page. The top one is so beautiful, and the bottom one really looks like how I imagine a German village would look. Your introduction does a great job of explaining why you have a particular interest in the Rhineland. That is pretty incredible that you were able to travel there! Hans is a brave man! I don't think I would be able to approach an unfamiliar castle that had strange noises in the middle of the night! You have to think that you are probably not alone there...As I say Hans is brave though, this boy sounds like he is on another level! He went there intentionally?? I am not sure why the people in his village want him to be scared ha! Ahhh it was for a girl. It was impressive he never buckled! I loved your project, I hope to check up on it in a few weels!
Hi Katie! I was so excited to see someone doing a project on the Rheinland! I didn't get to spend as much time there as I wanted when I was in Germany. I was going to do one of the river cruises, but my train got delayed in Frankfurt and we missed it by about an hour. So I'm really excited to take this trip along the Rhein! I do like the first person narrative that you chose for the story. You explain it well in your author's note, and I think that it absolutely served its purpose. My one slight critique would be that, while I like how you chose to use present tense, there are a couple of places where you left in the past tense. It's super minor, but double checking that consistency would probably help a little bit! I also really like the details of the story that you decided to cut. I agree that it was unnecessarily morbid, and I honestly think that the shorter story flowed better, especially since we have our narrator, Hans! Overall, I loved this story and I'm excited to see what you add to it!
I love your theme for your storybook and how you take existing stories of the region but make them your own. I really enjoyed reading the story of the boy who couldn't be spooked because it is very unique. I hadn't ever heard a story of that type before and I enjoyed the narrative style you used. I loved that you told the story in first person, especially because it allowed the reader to share the thoughts of the narrator who ended up in a very strange and thought-provoking situation. My only suggestion is to look over your tenses again. There are some places where the tenses don't line up, and it got a little confusing to understand who was talking or when the events were taking place. But this is nothing a little revision can't fix. Other than that, I really loved this story and look forward to reading more from you!
Hey Katie! I'm back to see how your storybook is progressing. First off, I like how you're implementing your idea to the storybook. The narrator traveling around and experiencing the stories himself is really cool. Trying to scare a little kid was an interesting story. I think adding the part of the story where the princess makes the kid shudder with cold ice water would've been an interesting addition to the story. I think having the narrator come into the boy's story a bit sooner may have been cool as well. Maybe having him also try to scare the boy to make him shudder. The narrator could've had also maybe gone to the village the boy was from first and maybe have seen how they were preparing to try to scare him with all of the fake props. Overall, I think you're on the right track and I'm looking forward to the future stories!
This Storybook looks awesome so far! I really love the images you chose, especially since they are ones that you actually took yourself. It makes it more real somehow, knowing that these are actual places that you have been. I also really liked reading both of these stories. My favorite was the first one with the guy who couldn't shiver, for sure.
I paid attention to the way you broke your paragraphs up this week and the only thing that I noticed was that you tended to have a lot of short paragraphs. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it did make the reading a bit more choppy for me. I mainly noticed it in the first story about the boy where there was a lot of dialogue that was split up across paragraphs. I'm not sure that there's any helping it though because when you have dialogue, there needs to be splits to keep track of who is speaking.
I really liked reading these stories. You did a good job!
Hi Katie, So far this storybook looks awesome. I think the reason it is so great is because of your personal connection. The images you used on the homepage were awesome. They are extra special because you are the one who took them. Like Riley stated above I really liked the use of your shorter paragraphs. Personally it allowed me to read your ideas and thoughts more clearly. Your ideas can be separated in order for readers to better follow the story. Though one thing I would suggest is to include all the dialogue from one event in the same paragraphs. Other than that I think it is great and have loved your project.
Hey Katie, I read your story “The Woman on the Cliff”, and I thought that it was very good. Also, looking around your storybook, I really like all of the different images you have used throughout your different stories. It makes your storybook really fun to look at! I really enjoyed reading your story “The Woman on the Cliff” because of all of the imagery that you used throughout the story. It was really easy for me to get a picture in my head of what the characters might’ve looked like. I always enjoy reading stories like yours that are very vivid and creative. Also, after I read your author’s note, I really enjoyed how you changed up the story’s ending and made it a happier ending. I’m with you, I don’t like stories that have bad or sad endings! Overall, I thought that you did a great job, and I cant wait to see how your storybook progresses!
Hi Katie, first of all I was immediately drawn by the beautiful photos on the introduction and home page! Your descriptions of the characters and the settings were very good and a great addition to the story. I liked how mysterious it was that everytime men look at the woman, they are infatuated with her. Your author's note explained the original ending and I am glad that you changed up the story to have a happy one. I did that for a lot of stories in this class, I am a sucker for a happy ending! The formatting of the story was a little hard to follow, I think if you were to make the paragraphs more together and longer it would help. Overall, love the theme of your storybook!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Katie! I love how personal and fun this storybook sounds with a traveler's perspective who may be experiencing these stories I am assuming for the first time. I love the depiction of your own personal images from your trip to Germany. The emphasis on scenery is a very unique and exciting idea.
ReplyDeleteI understand that this storybook will describe the scenery from the traveler's perspective and will be set closer to the Medieval Ages which is a very interesting time period. I wonder what exactly these folkstore stories will entail. I wonder if I could get more information about what stories are occurring around the rivers of the Rhineland. I am not familiar with the well-known The Lorelei. I think it could be cool to expand a little bit to hear what these stories are about.
Overall, great story and what a great idea! I look forward to reading your stories.
Hey Katie! This storybook idea seems really cool. Implementing all your stories within an overall journey is really interesting. I do not know if I have ever heard any of the Rhineland tales so I'm interested in learning about them! I would keep in mind that some people may not be familiar with them, so keeping a good well-explained author's note with them will probably be important. I can't have wine but I'll keep some chocolate milk around, hopefully that's a good substitute. I wonder how you're going to decide to tell them. Are they going to be real events happening in your world? Or is the traveler going to experience them being told by the people they meet? It could be cool if they just happened to stay somewhere for the night and someone was around telling stories. Maybe they'll come across something later on that reminds them of a story they heard before.
ReplyDeleteHi, Katie! First off -- I feel the images you selected really set the scene for the stories you're going to tell. That castle is gorgeous! And the buildings in the region are so charming. Are you going to take inspiration from your trip to Germany when you build your settings? I've never heard of "The Lorelei" or "The Mouse Tower" so I'm excited to be introduced to new stories. When you say that it will be from the point of view of a traveler on the Rhine river, does that mean he'll be from the present telling about the past? Or will he also be living during medieval times? Can't wait to read your stories!
ReplyDeleteHey, Katie!
ReplyDeleteI really, really love the aesthetic of your page. I know that is probably something you've heard already, and it is seemingly a really basic comment, but I mean it! The way all of the styles you included work together really makes it fantastic. This includes the font choice, picture choice, and background color of your page. I felt like I took a less detailed approach by just adding a picture to a white background for my own site, but now I feel motivated to add a lot more thought into it by connecting different styles to create one really amazing one like yours! I think your introduction really hit it off by describing what your site will be all about. And, again, the way you formatted it with the image you chose really made it feel homey. That may come off as weird, but what I mean to say is that it feels comforting just reading the words on your site, just based on the way the site is set up. I cannot wait to see how you are going to include your stories in the future! Great job.
Hi Katie!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story "The Boy in the Castle" and how it was a rendition of another story! I loved how you styled and structured the text on your website! It was very visually appealing! I also loved how you incorporated so much dialogue between the characters! This really enhanced the story and added an elevated element. I am curious though of what the boy is like? What are his characteristics and what does he look like? I would suggest adding some details into the story to build up the plot and ease into the storytelling! I think at the moment your story is very bare bones and is very short in length, so I think it gives you a great opportunity to add in more details, copy, and images to make your story more interesting! I also challenge you to try and take your own twist on the story whether that be changing up some of the challenges the boy has to go through or his ultimate goal. Overall, great job!
Hi Katie!
ReplyDeleteI really love the look of your page! The pictures are so awesome. I think its super cool that you took them yourself. They really get me interested in what your story is going to be about. They are also beautiful and make me want to visit there. I think it is also very cool that you are going off some of the experiences from your trip because I think this will really bring in some personal aspects to your story. In your first story I really loves the scene and timing it brings in. It makes me think back to medieval times which I really like. I also really enjoyed your story in general. It makes me interested in what is going to happen in future stories and what is going on with this town and the hauntings in the castle. I am also curious to find out who this young boy is.
Hey Katie! I really enjoyed reading your story, “The Boy in the Castle”. I really like your style of writing in this story. I enjoyed how much suspense is in your story. It makes you want to continue to read more of the story to find out what happens next. I think if you added more descriptive words to the story, about the castle, Jonah, the bodies, etc. would help add a lot of imagery to the story. Also, that is so neat that you took the pictures that are in your storybook! I thought you did a good job developing a relationship between Hans and Jonah in the part when the body springs up and Hans saves Jonah. I thought that your story flowed very well and was very well written. Also, that’s so neat that the pictures on the front page of your storybook were taken by you! Great Job!
ReplyDeleteHi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI would say that I like to read your story. For me, I have never seen a story like that before - the met of a man and a boy in a scary castle. The theme of the story blends tightly with your writing. I had read several storybooks which cannot connect their topic and content perfectly, however, you do not have to face this problem! You put an image into your website which could help each reader to imagine some scenes and pictures in their minds. I think it is crucial for us to decorate the website. Besides, your picture layout is very reasonable and comfortable for me, all these factors improve the readability of the website.
On the other hand, I think you could try to connect the plot with reality. For example, the king's absurd request could be related to some people's ridiculous minds in the upper-class. In my opinion, this kind of connection would endow the story with more connotation.
Hi Katie, right away I LOVE the images you've used. I want to travel to Europe so badly. There is so much folklore that comes from these different regions that I'm not surprised when I haven't heard one. Though I hadn't heard the story of the boy who couldn't shudder, I wish you had left in the part about the daughter getting him to, that sounds hilarious. I'm totally fine when people remove morbid or unnecessary parts though. I liked the point of view that you set the story up from! One thing I noticed at the start though is that the label says Story 1 but you have a title for the story. It doesn't hurt anything but if I had to find something, that would be a change I would make. The only other thing that is a little different to me is how large the pictures are compared to some of the paragraphs, only because there is a lot of white space around the paragraphs and they seem extra short because of how large the images are. However, I also love how big the pictures are because there is so much beauty in them.
ReplyDeleteHey Katie,
ReplyDeleteI have absolutely loved looking through your storybook! I really like that it is so personal to you and that you were able to include your own photos. It is making me a little jealous, I would love to travel to Europe someday! I really liked reading your introduction because it was very thorough and explained everything I needed to know about your project. As of right now, your first story is just labeled as "Story 1," and I think that adding a title could really bring your project to the top. I loved reading what you wrote and I really enjoy your writing style. Great job overall!
Katie,
ReplyDeleteIve loved your images across the board. Really creative and interesting. I think you might benefit more on some of your stories from using a first person point of view and using more active verbiage instead of passive verbiage. It made a huge difference for me and I think it could do the same for you! But overall your doing great so far, keep up the good work!
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed your tale adaption. First off, I love the design of your project website. It's joy-inducing and feels as though I'm on a traveling site, which is a great thing. I think was a great decision to tell the story from Hans's point of view. Yes, I agree with you giving a proper point of view allows the readers to make a deeper connection to at least one character. However, if I may make one suggestion? It's best to not start off with the point of view character addressing the audience unless it is a diary entry. It takes many readers out of the story. Now, this is a style, which if you would like to continue, is totally fine. I loved the addition of dialogue as it speeds up the story and gives characters another way to interact.
I really can't wait to see what you write, and I hope this helps.
Hi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your adaptation on the boy who learned fear and how your character was a audience member of the boy who feared nothing. I like that it ended with the boy receiving the hand in marriage because of some arbitrary task. Like you don't get scared his is my daughter. I am glad that is moving away from just giving away girls like they are a piece of property. This was an enjoyable story and I enjoyed reading about all the way that they tried and failed to scare the boy. The dead cousin one was the one that I didn't expect and it was described well and very easy to visualize. I like that the first instinct was to try to save the life and then they were like close the coffin close the coffin we can't let him out. I really enjoyed your story and your website looks really pretty I like that you use your own pictures.
Hi Katie! I was excited to learn more about a new culture after I stumbled across your project and realized what it contained. I love the two images that you have on your home page. The top one is so beautiful, and the bottom one really looks like how I imagine a German village would look. Your introduction does a great job of explaining why you have a particular interest in the Rhineland. That is pretty incredible that you were able to travel there! Hans is a brave man! I don't think I would be able to approach an unfamiliar castle that had strange noises in the middle of the night! You have to think that you are probably not alone there...As I say Hans is brave though, this boy sounds like he is on another level! He went there intentionally?? I am not sure why the people in his village want him to be scared ha! Ahhh it was for a girl. It was impressive he never buckled! I loved your project, I hope to check up on it in a few weels!
ReplyDeleteHi Katie! I was so excited to see someone doing a project on the Rheinland! I didn't get to spend as much time there as I wanted when I was in Germany. I was going to do one of the river cruises, but my train got delayed in Frankfurt and we missed it by about an hour. So I'm really excited to take this trip along the Rhein!
ReplyDeleteI do like the first person narrative that you chose for the story. You explain it well in your author's note, and I think that it absolutely served its purpose. My one slight critique would be that, while I like how you chose to use present tense, there are a couple of places where you left in the past tense. It's super minor, but double checking that consistency would probably help a little bit! I also really like the details of the story that you decided to cut. I agree that it was unnecessarily morbid, and I honestly think that the shorter story flowed better, especially since we have our narrator, Hans!
Overall, I loved this story and I'm excited to see what you add to it!
Hi Katie,
ReplyDeleteI love your theme for your storybook and how you take existing stories of the region but make them your own. I really enjoyed reading the story of the boy who couldn't be spooked because it is very unique. I hadn't ever heard a story of that type before and I enjoyed the narrative style you used. I loved that you told the story in first person, especially because it allowed the reader to share the thoughts of the narrator who ended up in a very strange and thought-provoking situation. My only suggestion is to look over your tenses again. There are some places where the tenses don't line up, and it got a little confusing to understand who was talking or when the events were taking place. But this is nothing a little revision can't fix. Other than that, I really loved this story and look forward to reading more from you!
Hey Katie! I'm back to see how your storybook is progressing. First off, I like how you're implementing your idea to the storybook. The narrator traveling around and experiencing the stories himself is really cool. Trying to scare a little kid was an interesting story. I think adding the part of the story where the princess makes the kid shudder with cold ice water would've been an interesting addition to the story. I think having the narrator come into the boy's story a bit sooner may have been cool as well. Maybe having him also try to scare the boy to make him shudder. The narrator could've had also maybe gone to the village the boy was from first and maybe have seen how they were preparing to try to scare him with all of the fake props. Overall, I think you're on the right track and I'm looking forward to the future stories!
ReplyDeleteHi Katie!
ReplyDeleteThis Storybook looks awesome so far! I really love the images you chose, especially since they are ones that you actually took yourself. It makes it more real somehow, knowing that these are actual places that you have been. I also really liked reading both of these stories. My favorite was the first one with the guy who couldn't shiver, for sure.
I paid attention to the way you broke your paragraphs up this week and the only thing that I noticed was that you tended to have a lot of short paragraphs. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but it did make the reading a bit more choppy for me. I mainly noticed it in the first story about the boy where there was a lot of dialogue that was split up across paragraphs. I'm not sure that there's any helping it though because when you have dialogue, there needs to be splits to keep track of who is speaking.
I really liked reading these stories. You did a good job!
Hi Katie,
ReplyDeleteSo far this storybook looks awesome. I think the reason it is so great is because of your personal connection. The images you used on the homepage were awesome. They are extra special because you are the one who took them. Like Riley stated above I really liked the use of your shorter paragraphs. Personally it allowed me to read your ideas and thoughts more clearly. Your ideas can be separated in order for readers to better follow the story. Though one thing I would suggest is to include all the dialogue from one event in the same paragraphs. Other than that I think it is great and have loved your project.
Hey Katie, I read your story “The Woman on the Cliff”, and I thought that it was very good. Also, looking around your storybook, I really like all of the different images you have used throughout your different stories. It makes your storybook really fun to look at! I really enjoyed reading your story “The Woman on the Cliff” because of all of the imagery that you used throughout the story. It was really easy for me to get a picture in my head of what the characters might’ve looked like. I always enjoy reading stories like yours that are very vivid and creative. Also, after I read your author’s note, I really enjoyed how you changed up the story’s ending and made it a happier ending. I’m with you, I don’t like stories that have bad or sad endings! Overall, I thought that you did a great job, and I cant wait to see how your storybook progresses!
ReplyDeleteHi Katie, first of all I was immediately drawn by the beautiful photos on the introduction and home page! Your descriptions of the characters and the settings were very good and a great addition to the story. I liked how mysterious it was that everytime men look at the woman, they are infatuated with her. Your author's note explained the original ending and I am glad that you changed up the story to have a happy one. I did that for a lot of stories in this class, I am a sucker for a happy ending! The formatting of the story was a little hard to follow, I think if you were to make the paragraphs more together and longer it would help. Overall, love the theme of your storybook!
ReplyDelete